“The best thing to invest in is yourself…and be unapologetic about it.” – Joe, 66 year old training client, father, husband, Business Owner
Where do you invest your money and time? Are you unapologetic about the amount of resources you choose to invest in yourself?
So many people struggle with feeling they have to justify the time, energy, money and resources they spend on themselves and its time to start being unapologetic and relentless in the pursuit of and protection of our boundaries.
A solo trip to the spa or abroad, purchasing themselves a trainer to help them stay accountable and on track with healthier living; these are all personal investments.
The hanger is this: it’s an investment in yourself and for some people this is a hard thing to do and when done, leaves them feeling guilty, selfish or worse yet, ashamed.
Why is this?
I’ve worked with dozens of women who provide so much to their partners and careers, but their biggest fitness struggle is prioritizing themselves: making time for working out.
They get caught up providing and supporting their partners (insert family, children, careers, etc) and their time slips away from them.
Boundaries
We’re okay investing in our friendships, relationships, careers and everything else, but when it comes to prioritizing our own self care routines and rituals, we crumble?
Self care routines (rituals) can be anything from a 20 minute sweat session in the basement, a yoga class, to a 40 minute gym session, spa trip…. the list goes on and on. What restores, reinvigorates and excites you?
Why do we neglect ourselves in hopes of keeping others happy?
We’re scared to say no to people.
We’re unable to establish boundaries.
We say we want to get healthy but allow ourselves to end up at 4 happy hours in one week because we’re unable to 1) say thanks but no thanks, I’ve got plans tonite (with yourself, at the gym, at the park, etc) 2) we people please and 3) we don’t know how to have healthy (and very necessary) boundaries.
Boundaries aren’t bad.
They aren’t rude or isolating.
It’s simply defining a boundary for yourself that establishes what you need, what you want, what you don’t want, your values and what you allow in your life (or not).
Sounds pretty fucking healthy, doesn’t it?
We’ve all flown on airplanes and know the safety procedures that explicitly instruct passengers that in the event of cabin pressure loss passengers should apply their own oxygen mask before helping others.
Selfish? Inconsiderate of those around you?..
How can we provide life-saving service to anyone on the plane if we’re passed out from oxygen deprivation? That does neither you or the person you’re attempting to save any good.
Apply the same concept to our personal lives – why do we struggle to grasp the idea that our health, wealth, self care etc is and should be our top priority?
How can we expect ourselves to show up fully in all our interactions if we’re constantly dragging ass and running on fumes?
People express feelings of guilt when they take time to focus on themselves or do a little something nice. Politely decline social invitations in turn for your favorite activities at home and people think you’re rude or worse yet, you feel guilty for saying no.
I get that. There is a balancing act we do in our lives: career, relationships, self-care.
How do we balance it all and make sure we’re giving each area what it deserves.
It Starts With You
We do ourselves and others a disservice when we don’t take care of ourselves and keep our side of the street clean. When we don’t take care of our side of the street, we leave others to support us and manage our emotions instead of developing resiliency and self regulation.
Do you want your loved ones half-assed efforts because they’re too worn down to give you anything better?
We all, generally speaking and under the assumption we’re all here to develop our best self, we want what’s best for our loved ones.
We want our loved ones to be rested, balanced, fulfilled, happy people. We can’t expect our loved ones to be their best self if they aren’t taking care of themselves.
Stop Feeling Guilty
The way to stop this is to start owning your self care and make it a non-negotiable. The time that I set aside to nourish my creativity and self is my time – I defend it with all that I know I’m worth. Be
Because I’m worth it, and so are you.
There’s nothing shameful about prioritizing your self care and following through with it. We all have a lot riding on our shoulders and in order to bring our best self to each and every meeting, interaction, & opportunity that comes our way, we have to refuel and renew.
